My own favourite umpire was Bob “Knocker” White who was a great umpire in my opinion. I used to tell him that he had to be sure the ball was missing the stumps before he gave it “not out” and he seemed to warm to this way of thinking. And why not, seems perfectly logical to me.
I remember a match against Hampshire at Bristol where I was bowling at his end. As with Sains, I was reliant on LBWs, perhaps even more than Sains because I am much shorter than him. In the match against Hampshire, I asked Boo Boo if I could field at square leg so I could talk to Knocker between overs and butter him up. Boo Boo readily agreed.
The ball was swinging that day and I was appealing for LBWs on a regular basis. Knocker was renowned for his love of an LBW dismissal so just my type of guy. But it was known that he was always ranked quite low in the umpire performance stats & was always close to being taken off the list.
Anyway, he started to give a few LBWs and it is fair to say that the Hampshire players weren’t happy. They started appearing on the balcony to the dressing rooms waving their arms around and shouting abuse at Knocker. Obviously, I tried to re-assure Knocker that all his decisions were perfectly acceptable. He gave me 7 LBWs in that match, 5 of which were plumb and the other 2 there or thereabouts (well, close enough in my humble opinion). 
I continued to chat to him at square leg. These were the days when umpires were employed on 7 month contracts. So, whilst being friendly and enquiring about his life story, I asked him what he did in the Winter. He said dryly “I sell fireworks Smudge and if you keep bowling at my end I will be doing it all year round.”
Great answer from probably the best umpire on the circuit, in my view.
Memory added on July 4, 2021
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